


For Better or Worse

by dykejonze



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Minor Angst, Stupid Dumb Fluff, domestic whatever, erwin being annoying af, i guess, im so sorry, levi being an emotional cripple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6134452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykejonze/pseuds/dykejonze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was daring him: <i>try harder next time, you creepy bastard.</i> So he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Better or Worse

He knew from the start that it would be a pain in the ass. Getting Levi to say yes, that is. It had been hard enough to worm a single date out of him, harder still to convince Levi to move into his apartment. If there was one thing the smaller man hated, it was being put in a position where he would have to depend on another person, and Erwin spent the better part of their four year relationship fighting tooth and nail to gain his trust enough to so much as hold his hand in public. It wasn’t that Levi wasn’t good with commitment, he would realize as the icy exterior slowly but surely began to melt, but that he would allow himself to get so committed that it terrified him, and fear was an emotion that Levi felt frequently and dealt with poorly. 

 

This was different, though, than gathering up the courage to ask out the boy in the library who read all the books Erwin liked and meet all of his longing gazes with an irritated scowl. It had been weeks of Erwin staring after him like a total creep before the boy finally approached him, smaller than Erwin even realized but with an energy so fierce that heat seemed to radiate off of him, and snarled, “Either you’re going to say what you have to say or I’m getting a restraining order.” 

 

Erwin had choked on his coffee, blue eyes wide and he felt kind of stupid, at a complete loss for words as the book he was holding slid from his hand and onto the table in front of him with a thud that, to him, seemed deafening. 

 

“You’re… you…” He rarely found himself so uncollected, had always been the type to charm his way through every conversation, flirt effortlessly and, he was proud to say, effectively. But in that moment he sat breathless, gaze trailing from dark hair that, he would later learn, was even softer than it looked, to the intense steely-grey eyes that were burning holes straight through them, down to the way the boy’s narrow hip jutted against the side of the table as he folded his arms across his chest.

 

“What.” Before Erwin could recover, before he could gather himself enough to spit out a full sentence let alone an excuse for what he was sure had been a rather unsettling experience over the course of the past two weeks, the boy was straightening himself out. “Tch. Do yourself a favor and get a new hobby.” 

 

The spell had been broken the moment the boy turned away, but Erwin said nothing, feeling more than embarrassed as the realization sank in that, without so much as knowing a name, he was already completely and utterly ruined. 

 

It was nearly another week later that Erwin caught him in the library again, and, setting aside the sting of shame that never did quite leave his chest from their first encounter, came to stand by the usual table the boy occupied. 

 

“I’d like to take you out.” He said by way of greeting, swallowing thickly as the boy thumbed to the next page of a novel Erwin couldn’t quite catch the title of.

 

“Like on a date?” The boy didn’t look up, but Erwin could sense a hint of amusement in his otherwise deadpan voice, and his heartbeat quickened.

 

“Yes. Like on a date.” 

 

The boy paused, turning to give Erwin a once-over, a spark of something the taller man couldn’t quite place in his eyes, before giving out a sigh and returning to his book.

 

“Not interested. Get lost, will you.” 

 

Erwin had gone home feeling more determined than dejected, his ego bruised and bleeding but his mind set. It was later, much later, after he learned all the little quirks and ticks that made up the stormcloud that was Levi, that he came to realize it had been a game from the start. He supposed he knew it even then, while he was being made into a complete idiot obsessing over someone who seemed to push harder than he could possibly pull. Levi was daring him:  _ try harder next time, you creepy bastard.  _ So he did. 

 

Four years later, he was absolutely positively sure that there was nobody else in the world he could adore the way he did Levi. Levi who was all spikes and thorns until he was given a reason to open up, who was headstrong and stubborn and would keep a fight going until he won, who infuriated and amazed Erwin at the same time. In the four years they had been dating, the two they had lived under the same roof, Erwin had never once met Levi’s family and very few of his friends, knew all there was to know of who he was now and next to nothing of who he was then. It hadn’t been until their first Christmas came and went that Erwin discovered it had been Levi’s birthday as well, and only learned his last name after catching sight of a small stack of unopened mail on his kitchen counter. At times, he found himself wondering whether Levi was quietly doing it all for him-- another game, another puzzle. Crack the code and collect the reward, the rare sound of laughter or the feeling of hot breath against his neck as Levi curled into him. 

 

They agreed on most things, on politics and on music, on movies, on what color to paint the living room and, more often than not, what kind of furniture to buy. They agreed that Erwin was the better cook between the two of them but couldn’t properly wash a dish if his life depended on it, and they agreed that Levi was a terrible communicator--although Levi maintained that he’d probably be better at it if Erwin was a better listener, a comment that Erwin both resented and, secretly, knew had more than a tinge of truth to it. They agreed to get a cat, even though Erwin liked dogs better, and they agreed on Erwin’s choice of curtains for their bedroom, even though Levi thought they were cut from the ugliest piece of fabric cursed to mankind and repeatedly brought it up until Erwin reluctantly agreed to throw them away. 

 

However what they did not agree on, much to Erwin’s initial disappointment, was the issue of marriage. It hadn’t been until the passing of their first anniversary that Erwin began to consider it one way or another, but the thought became more and more appealing the longer their relationship persisted. When he finally decided to mention the idea to Levi, masking genuine interest for passive curiosity, he was met with the usual sigh and an eyeroll. 

 

“Pointless institution,” He called it, pulling his small frame up to sit on the kitchen counter, watching Erwin shake a mixture of spices into a large cooking pot. “It’s a waste of time for a stupid piece of paper. Hey, take it easy on the salt, old man. Some of us still have all our tastebuds.” 

 

Erwin didn’t bother bringing it up again, but he’d learned from passing comments over time that Levi never did change his mind. Still, he thought about it often. He supposed he was the type to idealize family life, though he felt a little foolish admitting it, especially to Levi, who avoided the entire concept of  _ family _ like a germ. He thought he would be content to allow things to continue as they were, that Levi was probably right, that it was an unnecessary and narcissistic gesture to make people sit through an entire ceremony just to say they’d like to spend the better part of forever together. 

 

But if Erwin was anything, it was selfish, and when he wanted something, he knew how to get it. And he, regardless of what he tried to tell himself and regardless of Levi’s stubborn feelings on the matter, wanted this. 

 

“Marry me,” He murmured the words into Levi’s ear late one night, face buried in inky black hair, arms wound tight around him, as if afraid the smaller man would take off running any second. Levi’s body stiffened against him instead, and for a moment, Erwin expected him to try to squirm away from him, to look at him, to move at all. He waited, waited their eyes to meet, for that flash of a spark across Levi’s face that would tell him he was playing too. 

 

“What?” His voice came out in a hoarse breath, but he didn’t move. 

 

“Marry me, Levi.” Erwin repeated, lifting his head then to peer over at him. Levi’s eyes were wide, panic written across his face until he realized he was being watched. Erwin had expected a rejection, counted on it, even. He had expected a snide remark, a cruel humorless laugh, perhaps. He had expected many things, but he had not prepared for that look of fear. It had vanished, though, gone before he could address it, before he had a moment to allow a shred of guilt to sink in, change his mind and apologize for the whole thing, only to be replaced by tired annoyance. Levi’s body relaxed under his arm and he gave a soft snort.

 

“Go the fuck to sleep, Erwin,” He muttered, closing his eyes. “I’m not going to fucking marry you.” 

 

Erwin said nothing more, pressing his face into the other man’s hair once again, a small smile playing on his lips. Whether Levi was playing or not, the game was on. 

 

***

 

It was two days later, the initial proposal since forgotten, that it began. Erwin awoke early in the morning to small hands tugging on the blanket covering his body.

 

“Stop hogging the blanket,” Levi’s voice was sleepy and soft, and Erwin’s first impulse was to give him anything he asked for-- but he stopped, arm halfway through the motion of throwing the blanket around his boyfriend.

 

“Then marry me.” He suppressed the urge to laugh at the way Levi stiffened once again, the slow opening of angry grey eyes. 

 

“Fuck you, I said no.” Levi snapped, suddenly sounding very much awake, rolling over to face the wall instead of Erwin. “I’d rather freeze.” 

 

Erwin waited nearly twenty minutes before relenting, covering Levi with the blanket and letting out a small chuckle at the grunt that came from the curled up ball of fury, and it was near lunch time before Levi would speak to him again.

 

***

 

It came again the next day. He was shaving in the bathroom when Levi stumbled in, hair sticking up in every direction, a fist coming up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

 

“Move over,” He was reaching for his toothbrush, and on a normal day, Erwin would scoot aside to make room in their tiny bathroom. That morning, he stayed still, eyes glued to the mirror. “ _ Erwin _ .” 

 

“Marry me and I’ll move.” 

 

Levi stormed out of the room wordlessly, slamming the door behind him. 

 

***

 

“It’s right the-- wait. Erwin.  _ Erwin,  _ no. No. You are not fucking doing this. I’m gonna be late for work.”   
  


“Marry me and I’ll turn around.”

 

“ _ No _ . Fuck no.”

 

“Hm... I guess you’ll be running a few minutes late today. You’d better call and let them know.” 

 

***

 

“This is getting ridiculous.” It had been a week, and Levi was either breaking or preparing to break up with him. He was already awake when Erwin came down into the kitchen, leaning back against the sink with his arms folded across his chest. A cup of tea was sitting forgotten, clearly going cold, and Erwin wondered just how long Levi had been up. 

 

“What is, love?” He poured himself a cup of coffee, choosing to ignore the tired glare that was now aimed at him. 

 

“You  _ know  _ what, cut the bullshit, you fuck. It’s sexual harassment.” Erwin snorted into his cup, taking a quick gulp and crossing the kitchen to press a kiss to the smaller man’s forehead. As always, Levi was radiating beneath him, but he could feel the tension draining as his lips lingered against his skin. 

 

“Alright. I’ll stop.” He murmured, and he was willing to admit to himself that he  _ did _ feel a bit dejected now when Levi let out a relieved breath. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Yeah,” He gave a soft smile. Dejected-- but still determined. “As soon as you say you’ll marry me.” 

 

***

 

“Why?” Erwin had been drifting off to sleep when Levi’s voice cut through the silence of the night. He yawned, stretching out his arms while turning onto his side to wrap them around his boyfriend. Sleep and Levi had always been at odds with each other, and he allowed himself to be held with the tentativeness of someone still learning how to feel safe in his own bed. Erwin never did pry into it. He didn’t need the details, he didn’t need to know what Levi was clearly unwilling to divulge to him, as much as he wished he would. He didn’t need to know who Levi might have once been or what experiences continued to haunt him as he tossed and turned at night. It didn’t change anything. It never would. 

 

“Why what?” He pulled Levi closer, waiting for the smaller body to relax. It didn’t. 

 

“Why do you want me to marry you?” Anybody else would have missed it, the hint of vulnerability that clung to his question, the almost indetectable tremble in a voice that was otherwise flat and passively annoyed. But Erwin could read Levi like a book more often than not, could pick up on the inflection in every spoken word and know exactly what he meant and exactly what wasn’t being said:  _ Why  _ **_would_ ** _ you want me to marry you? _

 

He gave a low chuckle, running a hand through thick black locks of hair. “Because I love you,” He studied the face of the man in his arms, searching through the little cracks that had formed in the ice. Brows knit, dark eyes, half-lidded, not quite meeting his own. “Because I’m selfish and because I want you. I want the stupid piece of paper and the pointless ceremony and I want to call you my husband. I want everything you are now, and everything you’ll ever be.” 

 

“Tch. Idiot.” Levi sniffed, voice soft, nearly a whisper as if whispering was the only thing keeping the tears held in behind his eyes. Erwin thought he could probably count the number of times he’d seen Levi cry, really truly cry. “You never get any smarter, do you.” The blonde laughed again, leaving a trail of small kisses on his forehead, his nose, his lips.

 

“No. I’m afraid I don’t.” It seemed to be enough in that moment, exhaustion suddenly taking over Levi’s features, and Erwin hoped that perhaps this would be one of those rare nights where they might both stay asleep until morning. “Marry me.” 

 

Levi hummed sleepily, lip twitching upwards. “Don’t be an asshole.” 

  
It wasn’t no.

**Author's Note:**

> first eruri fic i hate these idiots so much. thanks 4 reading please send me nice things or hate mail. follow my [stupid tumblr](http://dyke-jonze.tumblr.com/) and shout about emotionally crippled old men with me


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